Chit chat

Hey,

Thank you for those of you who have followed my new blog. It is coming along nicely. I’m not happy with the layout so that will be changing but I am getting excited to have a new part of me. As I have said, I wont be deleting this blog. It just wont be used anymore. If you haven’t followed my new blog and would like too, the link is www.lifelikeagalaxygirl.wordpress.com

So since my “break” I have been sleeping a lot. Like a lot. I’ve been going to bed at 12am and sleeping until 12pm. It’s great, but it also sucks because I am wasting the day away. I do however wake up happy. 

Working on my new blog has made me feel fantastic. I have this new joy of writing and the creativeness is literally pouring out of me. Can January hurry up haha. Also I have been working on some new products on my Zazzle shop. They aren’t up yet but I will let you know when they are. 

My skin has paid full price of my stress and general unwellness. I have broken out so bloody bad and it’s knocked my confidence again. Here comes the 100 layers of make up challenge again. Also, if you follow my old Twitter, and read my recent tweets, everything is all good. Dont wanna talk about it but its all good. If you do have Twitter, follow my new account www.twitter.com/likeagalaxygirl and while you’re at it, follow my instagram www.instagram.com/lifelikeagalaxygirlblog and I am creating a new YouTube up too because I am using that in the new year! Literally I will be a blogger and YouTuber and a very happy person. Link to my YouTube will come soon! 

I am almost done with my Christmas shop. I need to buy my friends Niamh, Georgia, Kayleigh and Saskia some presents, my sister and my cousin their present and then treat myself. I’m so proud of myself.

I want to say a huge apology to those of you who live abroad. I know I said I would do you a giveaway but I just dont think its right considering I am giving up this blog.

Work has improved. I have been offered more shifts and I am enjoying my time there again, it may be because my “boss” doesn’t work on the weekend and thats when I do, or it could be because I genuinally loved working in that enviroment before all the other things happened. But finally I am getting more then £70 a month, but still not over the £1000 that I need to be able to move out. 

I don’t know what else to tell you to be honest, my weight has been great, I just keep loosing it, which now is apparently a bad thing, I swear these doctors are never bloody happy. My scan had been pushed back so still no update on the polycstic ovaries situation, but honestly I’m not feeling ill, I just feel tired. 

That’s all really for my update chit chat. I’m not very interesting. So just a recap of things to look out for.

  • NEW ZAZZLE MERCH 

New items to be released into my shop soon!

  • NEW YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Link will be released soon!

°°°°

That’s it. Thank you for reading. Comment below and have a chat.

Love,

A x

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November goals

Hello,

How are you? I need to address something before I carry on with my post. A few of you have noticed a name change on my social media. You are very observant. I have created a new blog. Yes, you read that right. It would be amazing if you could all head over and follow me. That new blog will have it’s first ever post on January 1st 2018! Natalie had messaged me some words of widsom and she was right, I shouldn’t delete everything, because I did work my arse off on my content. So, instead of deleting everything, I am keeping this blog. It just wont be used anymore. My new blog is www.lifelikeagalaxygirl.wordpress.com please head over and follow me. Share this on your Twitter and Instagram too! Help me reach at least 200 followers before I begin.

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Okay, so now that that is done, I want to share with you my November goals.

  • Go to bed before 3am – I have been going to sleep around 3am and then not waking up till gone 12! That’s really not healthy, so my aim to sleep at a normal time.
  • Wake up before 12pm – Obviously! Hopefully I can get my body into the routine of waking up at 8am. 
  • Lose some weight – I have been doing so well at this, then after my little wobble, I gained 2 pounds. Now, that isn’t much at all, but I need to loose it and some more too.
  • Get a minimum of 200 followers on my new blog – This blog has over 600 followers and every single one of you are amazing! But I know that realistically, not everyone will follow my new blog. But I am hoping that 200 out of 600+ still want to follow my journey.
  • Do more photography – I’m not sure when I neglected it, but I want to go out and get some new shots. I love uploading them to my photography Instagram page.

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Well, that is it. Those are my goals! I will update you on these at the end of the month. Again, here is the link to my new blog www.lifelikeagalaxygirl.wordpress.com I hope to see you all over there!

Lots of love and I will see you soon.

Alanna x

 

How it’s going to work

Hey guys,

Haha I suck at taking breaks don’t I. But how can you stay away from something that you love? Writing is my passion, always has been, probably always will be and honestly with my head being all over the place, the one thing that keeps me grounded is writing and sharing on my blog.

But I am going to be honest, I do need to cut down and go through some of my own therapy tips. Honestly your mind goes through so much a day and I think mine is stuck in the past on a constant loop. I wouldn’t mind if it was the good bit of the past, but it’s not. I am taking more time for myself, trying to make myself feel better. Whether that means I stay in bed until 11am or I shower at 9pm, I just go with the flow and do what feels right.

I have been made myself my own worse enemy, which for me isn’t actually that hard considering my self esteem was literally non exsistant. 

I have already typed up my first of January 2018 post, yes it needs going over and pictures need to be taken ect, but I have the basic guidelines already up. That’s how much I have missed writing. 

I have already planned a new schedule, one that isn’t me writing uploading on here everyday. I want to make my YouTube a serious part of my blog life, so I have added that into a new schedule. I have done it in a way which works well for me. I am going to be selfish here and say I don’t really care if you’re not happy with the final results. 

Four years ago, this blog was a way to escape my bad days and I would write about the things I wanted too, now, I find that I am uploading content to fit around you, to make you happy, and yes, if I want this to be my job, I need to do that, but I also need to write about the things I love too. 

Because I miss writing so much, I am going to upload 3 times for the last 2 months. One at the beginning that will be my monthly goals. One in the middle which will be a general chit chat update of my life and the third will be if I completed my goals. That’ll be it until the new year.

I will be away for the rest of the week, some things are going on, I still wont be active on my Instagram or Twitter. If you follow my photography instagram account @alannahollambys_photography I will still be doing my upload on there because it’s not linked to my blog.

I will read your posts next week when I am back. Also, Lucy Flight (the best YouTuber, and my idol) is bringing out her merch tomorrow, so follow her YouTube, Twitter and Instagram to be able to purchase a hoodie, t-shirt or popsocket. I was going to buy them but unfortuantely, I will be unable too and I know they will be sold out within the day so I would have missed my chance. But if you’re interested, be sure to support her and purchase an item. 

Thats it for now. I will speak to you in hopefully a week. Stay safe tonight and don’t eat too much candy!

Love,

Alanna x

Dear Abuser,

Dear Abuser,

Hi, I don’t know if you remember me? You probably do because you went through hell, you were put there because of me. For four years now I have wanted to write to you, to tell you I am sorry for putting you there, but at that time I was weak, I was vulnerable, I still didn’t understand what you did to me. I know that you know what you did, the physical things anyway, but I want to tell you what you’ve done to me mentally.

For the first year, I blamed myself. I sat crying every night because I didn’t want you to get into trouble. Little fourteen year old me, still wanted to protect you. I convinced myself that you didn’t mean to do what you did, I then convinced myself that I over reacted, that I shouldn’t have said anything because that would have made you happy.

The second year, after your sentence, it hit me the hardest. I was now fifteen, getting called a slut at school because according to them, I asked for it to happen. I didn’t though did I? Can you remember how I tried to push you off, how I said no? My sleep got worse, everytime I closed my  eyes, I would see your face, I would feel what you did to me. Over and over again, like it was stuck on replay. I wanted it to stop.

Did you know that I tried to kill myself? More then once actually. That’s when the self harm started. I wanted to feel numb and the only way to do that was to hurt myself. I would use a blade, how stupid is that? I would cut over and over again, deep enough to make myself bleed, but not deep enough to cause real damage. I look at the scars now and all I feel is hatred. I don’t feel hatred towards you, I know I should, you took the best part of my teenage year away from me, but I feel hatred towards myself. I hate that I let you inside my head, I hate that I now have a reminder of the weak pathetic mess I was. I hate that these scars will always be a reminder of what you did.

Did you know that my granddad died within that year, that’s when things got worse. I lost one of the greatest men and all I could do was think of you. How is that fair? Why do you deserve so much attention? That’s when I started with the pills, at first it was just paracetamol, nothing too harmful right? I would take eight at a time, then cut myself, lie in bed and watch the blood run. I was so numb that I couldn’t even cry. When the paracetamol stopped having an affect on me, I would go through my mums pills, taking anything and everything. I took so many pills that I actually threw up.

Three years later, I still think of you. I got really scared when I was told that you are now out, that you’re free to roam around as if you didn’t do anything wrong. I refused to go to school for a week, I had it in my head that you would be outside waiting for me, to punish me for what you went through. I had stopped self harming, I didn’t feel the need to put any more scars on myself. I had made some new friends, ones who didn’t know about you and what you did. They found out eventually. They used it against me in arguments. I couldn’t escape you.

Four years, that’s this year. I am doing okay. I still have those moments when I think of you, I still feel bad for the things you went through but you know what, I am not sorry. I spent these years waiting, waiting for you to apologise for what  you did. To tell me that it wasn’t my fault, that you didn’t want to hurt me. Instead, I had four years of torturing myself, wondering if I did in fact lead you on. Say something that made you think it was okay.

Truth is, I didn’t did I? There was no real reason why it was me. I am happy that it was me and not someone else, because no-one deserves to go through the amount of pain and suffering I went through. I know it was a mistake, I understand that, but at the age of fourteen, a girl who literally had her first kiss a week before it happened, it felt like my whole life was ruined.

Did you know that at the age of eighteen, I now pretty much am a slut. I refuse to have a boyfriend because I don’t want to let the down when I tell them no. Boys don’t like being told no, I learnt that from you. So now, I meet with boys an do things that I shouldn’t do. I am too scared to lose my virginity. What a joke that is. An eighteen year old, still a virgin, god, there must be something wrong with her. And there is, there is something wrong with me. I can’t trust another person not to hurt me, not to put me through four years of hell. If I tell them no, how will I know that they actually wont? If I push them away, how will I know that they wont carry on anyway? You have crushed all of my trust, gone, just like that. Gone, just like you did, when you ran away and left me there, on my own.

Do you ever feel the way I did? Did you ever get flashbacks? When you closed your eyes did you see the look on my face?

I’m not writing this so you feel sorry for me, so you feel regret and remorse, because if you didn’t feel it then, you sure as hell aren’t going to care now. I am writing this as clarity, for my piece of mind, so I can now close this dreaded book up and start a new one. If I could, I would burn this along with everything else, but I have tried that, it only makes you stronger. In some twisted way, I wanted to thank you, for making me stronger, but you don’t deserve any thanks. You deserve to sit there and let the ground swallow you up.

I hope that you will forever remember my name, forever picture my face when you close your eyes. I want you to know that I don’t forgive you, that for me, I can’t forget. I will spend the rest of my life, having to explain what you did, justify my actions because of the way you made me feel. I will forever have to speak your name. My story will never be over, and I just hope that you suffer just as much as I am. I hope you hate every inch of me, because then and only then, will you begin to realise what a cruel, heartless person you are.

This is your life sentence,

A

10 things I would say to my younger self


Hey,

How are you? Did you enjoy my nail inspiration post? If you haven’t read it yet, read this then go check it out. It was uploaded half an hour ago. This post is in thanks to Nimra so check out her blog. I put on my Instagram story asking for any post requests and she came back with two amazing posts. The other one will be uploaded soon.

I have been thinking about this for a while now, so I am glad I am now doing a post on it. I have decided to break this into two parts. One part being a child and the other part  being a teen. So technically there are 20 things but it’s still 10 things I would say to my younger self. So let’s start.

To child me:

  1. I want you to know that  you are not ugly, those little grazes and that little scar on your nose don’t make you ugly, you are beautiful.
  2. You’re not alone. You do have friends, sometimes they seem like they are too busy for you, but their not, they are just waiting for you to talk to them.
  3. You’re not fat. Trust me, those chubby cheeks end up being someone’s favourite part of you, especially when you smile.
  4. You’re not stupid. So what if you don’t understand the first time, your brain is busy doing better things. Try and try again is your best motto.
  5. You’re not crazy. So you like reading, you like writing your own stories. Keep at it, one day you will grow up and you’ll use that in your job.
  6. You are a fighter. Don’t listen to the bullies, you may not fight them back in a physical way, but mentally you could beat them any day.
  7. You are amazing. You never give up, you are determined to reach your goal, never ever lose that part of you.
  8. You are strong. You always stand back on your feet once you’ve been knocked down. I love that about you.
  9. You  are loved. You may not know it or feel it, but so many people cherish you, they think you  are the most amazing little girl around,
  10. I love you. I know I use to tell you that you’re ugly or you’re fat, but I was jealous of you. I’m sorry.

To my teen self:

  1. I don’t hate you. Quite the opposite. I love you. I am sorry for hurting you and leaving those scars as a permanent reminder.
  2. You need to eat. I know I told you that no-one will love you if you’re fat, but I was wrong. Please don’t do this.
  3. Smile more. I know I told you that your smile is stupid but it is one of the prettiest smiles I have ever seen.
  4. It wasn’t your fault. Please stop blaming yourself. No you didn’t ask for it. No you didn’t lead him on. It wasn’t your fault, I promise.
  5. You will find love. Not right away, and yes when you get older you kiss a lot of frogs but my darling, I promise your prince will come.
  6. Your body is great. No you don’t have too many curves. As someone told me “you need to have more faith in yourself” (yes, the person who said that is the same one you are crushing on right now).
  7. You do have friends. Some of them screw you over and you’ll feel like this again, but you have some new people in your life that make it feel full and complete.
  8. You make them proud. I’m talking about your mum and dad. You went to hell and came back the other side, you have a few battle scars but if you could see them now, they are proud of you for coming out the other side.
  9. I am proud of you. You always defy the odds, you have no intention of giving up or stopping, you have your head set on making it out, and you do. You make it out and you are doing alright.
  10. You are amazing. You always continue to surprise me. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for holding on and pushing yourself further. Thank you for finding your purpose of living.

There we go. 10 things I would say to my younger self. Again, a huge thank you goes to Nimra for this idea.

I hope you enjoyed this post. I know it was a little deep and personal, but I am glad I was able to share this with you.

Stay safe, stay happy and live life as an adventure.

Love,

A x

A little change


Hey,

I have some important changes going on and I thought it was about time that I let you know what’s going on. Not only does it affect me personally, but it means everything else changes such as my blog and my social medias.

I’m not sure how many of you noticed, but I have been fairly quiet over on my social medias lately. I haven’t really made a difference on my blog because I schedule my posts anyway so I spend a day writing 5/6 posts ahead of time, so you always have something to read.

The reason I have been a little quiet is because I am busy adulting. Since I can remember I have had my heart set on moving out. Now, I have found my dream home, honestly it is everything that I would want as a first house. The only issue I face now is “can I actually move out”. The house costs just over £1,000 to run every month (including rent) which isn’t that bad, but I don’t make that sort of money, so I need to find a way to make money fast. I also face my illness issue. Can I move out while I still suffer from an undiagnosed condition? Is it safe? What does happen if I seizure alone?

While I have had my heart set  on doing everything possible to get this house, I now face a new issue. I’m pretty sure my body just hates me. I am now being tested for polycystic ovaries. I’m not going to dive into that because 1) I have no idea what it actually is and 2) I might not even have it.

I have also been designing some new items to go into my Zazzle store. If you have no idea what that is, check out this post. Make sure you buy one or more of my products. I will do a post explaining the prices soon!

Due to being so busy at the moment, I have decided I am going to cut down the days I post, I am going to go from seven days to five. That gives me two days off. One of those days will be where I am super active on my social medias and preparing new posts and my other day will be my chill day, where I literally take time to be selfish and look after myself. That being said, I am doing blogmas this year, so I will be uploading everyday in December and if I have any brand collaborations, I will get them up asap.

I just feel like I put so much time into this, but my time isn’t being well spent. I aim to one day have this as my job, so I need/want my blog to be the best it can be.

I hope you’re all okay with this change. It wont start until November anyway and let’s face it, it will probably be a nice break for you because let’s be honest, I post a lot in a week!

Also as a side note, I am still working on my merch, so don’t worry, I am making it happen. I will also be re-starting my youtube, so head over and subscribe.

Thank you for always supporting me and who knows maybe after the new year I will be able to do some moving posts. (Keep your fingers and toes crossed for me).

Stay safe, stay happy and live life as an adventure.

Love,

Alanna x

A Toddlebike update


Hey,

How are you? Today I’m not bringing you a Halloween themed post. Are you happy about that? I have seen so many Halloween themed posts that I am actually dreading it now, I think there are only so many times you can read about the rules of trick or treating. Instead, I thought I would update you on the Toddlebike situation.

For those of you who have no idea what I am on about, I recently reviewed a Toddlebike, you can read that review here. Jo, the owner of the Toddlebike company emailed me yesterday with a discount code for you lovely bunch to use, obviously this is product is aimed at mums to buy for their little ones, but if you want to buy one, go ahead. I will share the code with you later on.

Now, I have had the Toddlebike for a little over a week now and my god is she obsessed with it. We did have an accident, she leant on the handle the wrong way and snapped it back, but luckily with a bit of superglue it was back to new. Honestly, she is terrible at not breaking things, if it’s not my phone being thrown around, I can guarantee she is finding something else to break.

As for using the bike, I can’t take her anywhere without her wanting it. Besides using it inside where her main aim is to run your feet over, or knock your tea over, she is becoming a little pro on it outside. Yes she still aims for your feet but she has picked up some speed on it. Honestly if there were Toddlebikes for adults, we would end up racing each other. She wont even let me carry it anymore, now she has mastered it, it’s all hers.

We had a little fall the other day, someone got a little too big for their boots and tried going over some conkers, she got one wedged in the wheel so it wouldn’t move and she fell off. After a few tears and a kick of the bike, she was back on it and off on her way to play on the swings.

Honestly, I have loved every minute of her using the Toddlebike, it is fun, safe, and devil child friendly. The bike is aimed for children aged around 18 – 36 months old. Now I know how amazing and easy it is to use, I will be buying this if I ever have children of my own. The company itself have been amazing, I can’t recommend them enough. As I said in the beginning I now have a discount code for you to use. Yes, just in time for your Christmas shopping. If you head over to Toddlebike.co.uk you can pick a red, blue or pink bike, and if you use the code BLOG17 you automatically get 10% deducted. That is such an amazing deal considering the bike only costs £23.95 including postage.

Well that concludes my little update. I will keep you informed of any changes. Let me know if you will purchase one for your little one for Christmas, if you don’t have kids yourself, share this with you mummy friends and get them to purchase one. I promise, it is so worth it.

Thank you for reading, don’t forget to use the discount code, I know we all love saving some money around Christmas time.

Stay safe, stay happy and live life as an adventure.

Love,

Alanna ♡

A Liebster award

Hey,

How are you? Today I am bringing you the Liebster award. I was nominated by Kelsee from kelseebhankins.com if you haven’t checked out her blog, do so, it’s amazing.

Kelsee has asked some questions for me and her other nominations to answer, so here they are.

1. What did you do on your last vacation?

  • I have never been on vacation so I can’t answer this. Hopefully soon though!

2. What three words describe you best?

  • Sensitive
  • Quiet
  • Determined

3. Besides your phone, what’s one thing you bring with you everywhere you go?

  • A notepad/note book and pen. I find them key essentials.

4. What is a controversial opinion you have?

  • Everyone should be treated the same whether they be, man, woman, gay, bi, straight, trans, whatever. 

5. What is/was your lastest Netflix binge?

  • I’ve recently re-watched Riverdale season 1 over again and the two latest episodes of season 2.

6. What’s the most useful app you have on your phone?

  • Probably my WordPress app, because when I get a creative idea, I like to type a title up for it and save it, so I can go back and create the post.

7. Away from your blog, do you journal? If so, how? If not, why don’t you?

  • I use to, way back when I was going through some things, so I stopped after I felt “better”. I then tried to re-start but it would just cause flashbacks of those bad times. I do want to try and start again though, I will make it a new year resolution.

8. What’s the craziest/most outrageous thing you want to achieve?

  • I honestly have no idea. Obviously as many of you know, I want my blog to turn into my job, so to achieve that, that would be crazy. I don’t really have any crazy goals set in place though.

9. If you could make a holiday, what would it be like? How would people celebrate it?

  • I would call it “We survived day” where we celebrate the fact that we are still here, still going strong and to embrace that together, we are united. To celebrate, it would be like a bank holiday where you get the day off work/school, and for that day, you can go shopping and get 50% of your items for free. That’ll be pretty cool.

10. Time freezes for everyone but you for one day – what do you do?

  • In reality, I would probably just sleep.
  • In a non-reality senario, I would play match maker. I would set people up on dates, I would make others forgive and forget, I would clean up the mess that has been made, to try and make this world a better place. Then I would write a letter to my crush, telling him how I feel and place it in his hands so when he unfreezes it’s the first thing he sees.

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That guys, is all of Kelsee’s questions. They were great to answer, I loved the fact that they were unique. 

If you guys want to take part then by all means do. 

Rules:

  • Acknowledge the blog who nominated you for this award.
  • Answer 11 questions the blogger gave you.
  • Give random facts about yourself. 
  • Nominate 11 blogs
  • Give 11 questions for them to answer.

My questions

  1. What is the last thing you said to someone?
  2. One of your biggest goals?
  3. What do you regret?
  4. What don’t you regret?
  5. How are you feeling?
  6. What is your biggest fear?
  7. Fresh fries or onion rings?
  8. Where have you been on holiday?
  9. What was your childhood friend called.
  10. Do you believe in ghosts?
  11. What would you possess if you could?

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Thank you for reading and again, thank you Kelsee for nominating me. Don’t forget to check out her amazing blog. See you tomorrow.

Stay safe, stay happy and live life as an adventure.

Love,

Alanna x